Sunday, May 20, 2018

Parenthood: Life Lived Outward

Sermon for the Feast of the Ascension (transferred) and Mother's Day
Acts 1:1-12; Ephesians 1:15-23; Luke 24:44-53
May 13, 2018


I think it’s a bit awkward preaching Mother’s Day sermons because, very quickly, high praise for mothers can slip into implicit and unintended contrasts with fathers.  I have to tell you – and this is something of an article of faith for me – I believe both men and women are capable of equal depths of love, and I don’t believe it’s true that a mother is necessarily a better parent than a father.  But that being said, we do often find truth in popular expressions; and when you’re looking for a way to describe someone who loves with fierce loyalty and protection, what do you call that person?  Is it “papa bear”?  Nope, it’s “mama bear.”  So, I’ll have to grant you that, generally speaking, moms deserve that reputation of being the unswerving, undying champions of their children.  And if you want to test that hypothesis, just insult a kid in her mother’s presence … but wait until I’m out of the room.
Being a parent, and especially being a mother – how does that change you?  I remember a moment of parental transition for Ann and me, one of those times from which you can never quite go back.  Ann was in relatively early labor with Kathryn.  And coming from the next delivery suite, we heard screaming – not the mom but the newborn baby.  The fact that we could hear that tiny person’s voice so clearly through the wall made me wonder just how loud it must have been inside their room.  I looked at Ann and said something intended to be romantic and reassuring about how we’d have one of those little voices with us before too long.  But the look on her face made me think she was imagining the sleepless nights to come.  Like many of you, we soon found out out just how much our lives would change with a baby and just how much the experience of parenting would change us.  For parents, everyone’s path is different as we stumble blindly into the unknown, but this much every parent learns: The practice of love is the practice of sacrifice.  And if you take parenthood seriously, that sacrifice changes you.  You don’t just make sacrifices for your children.  Your life becomes sacrifice.  Parenthood changes your direction.  Parenthood makes you live outward.
So today, as we celebrate the love of those who’ve been mothers to us, the liturgical calendar deals the preacher a wild card among the flush of hearts.  Today, we’re also celebrating the feast of the Ascension, which was last Thursday, 40 days after Easter.  Ascension reminds us of what we would politely call a mystery but what people in other faith traditions would call a scandal: We claim that the God who became human in Jesus of Nazareth also returned, as the human Jesus, back into the divine relationship of the Trinity.  Having returned into the fullness of heavenly glory, God the Son now rules all creation, what we call heaven and what we call earth, awaiting the day when Jesus returns at last, and heaven and earth are reunited into God’s new creation.  Like I said, this claim is pretty scandalous, compared with other religions: We don’t say that a spiritual God inhabited a human body and left it behind.  We say that the God we call Trinity, who exists as relationship, came to dwell as a human and took that humanity back into divinity. 
And though it may sound radical – even crazy – to say it, I believe that action changed God, in the same way learning changes us.  God chose to embrace the love of sacrifice – taking on a lesser form, living as an inferior being, experiencing our brokenness, and dying our death, all in order to heal that brokenness, and overcome sin and death, and bring the experience of being human into God’s own life.  That crazy choice to shed divine perfection helped God know even better the creatures God created and redeemed and still sustains. 
And in the meantime, as we await Jesus’ return, God’s love for us humans only grows.  Why?  Because the Trinity itself now knows what it’s really like to be a person.  It’s like being a parent, in a sense.  If you’re a parent, it’s one thing to be aware that you love your child as you watch him playing at a distance, across the room.  It’s something else to get down on the floor and wrestle with him.  And it’s something even more to hold him close when he cries.  And it’s something even more to give up things that you want, to give parts of your life away, so you can give your child loving presence he wouldn’t have had otherwise.  That’s life that becomes a sacrifice.  That’s parenthood – life lived outward.
There’s a theological catch phrase that might help make sense of this.  Centuries ago, Gregory of Nazianzus was writing about the Incarnation, the doctrine that Christ brought the fullness of humanity and divinity into one.  Gregory wrote, “What is not assumed is not healed.”  What that means is that any part of human experience Jesus didn’t take on, by definition, wasn’t redeemed – so he must have taken it all on in order to heal us completely.  Well, by the same token, I think it’s true that what is assumed – what is taken on – also changes the one who enters into someone else’s experience.  Sacrifice molds the heart and grows its capacity for love – even God’s heart.
Mothering is like that, I think.  We enter into the experience of another who has literally nothing to offer in return.  There is no payoff for the exhausted mom who gets up to nurse a screaming baby in the middle of the night.  We can romanticize it all we want, but at 3 a.m., it just stinks.  It’s just sacrifice.  So is cleaning up the bed after another bout of stomach flu.  So is holding the little boy who’s crying because the kids at school pick on him.  So is holding the daughter who’s crying because her boyfriend treats her like dirt.  So is lying in bed and crying to yourself because you fear the grown kid’s depression will get the better of him.  It’s all sacrifice – and that is love, in the flesh.
That sacrifice changes us forever, growing the capacity of our hearts.  If you’ve mothered someone, you probably get that.  But what we may forget, and what the Ascension might help us remember, is that God experienced something similar – and that God’s love is even deeper, even fuller, even more all-encompassing because of that human experience.  Oddly enough, this combination of Ascension and Mother’s Day is not just a time to remember that Jesus rules in heavenly glory, nor just a time to remember your mother’s love.  It’s a time to remember something fundamental about yourself – your first and foremost identity, regardless of whatever you may have become.  And here it is: You are God’s beloved child. 
Now, you may have heard people say that so often that it’s lost its meaning.  Or maybe you hear it only as a metaphor, a poetic turn of phrase.  But I want to push on this just a little bit.  I want you to try on the idea that this isn’t just a nice sentiment but an objective reality – in fact, that it’s the fundamental reality of your life, the starting point for everything else that matters.  You are God’s beloved child.  You matter as much to the creator of the universe as a baby matters to the mother who brought it into the world.  And that’s true not despite the sacrifice God made for us, becoming human and dying on the Cross, but because of it – because the creator of the world experienced the brokenness of life as we live it, letting that direct experience of humanity grow God’s heart. 
There may be times when you fear that no one understands you.  There may be times when you fear that you have no one to help carry your burdens.  There may be times when you fear that, at the end of the day, you’re on your own.  I think that’s our deepest fear.  And you know what?  That’s precisely why God came to experience life as we know it: So that what we have been through, God has been through.  Every time you hurt, every time you grieve, the sovereign Lord who shared your life also hurts and grieves.  Just as a mother feels her child’s pain, so does God.  Just as a mother’s heart grows watching her child’s suffering steps, so does God’s.  So, the promise of the Ascension is this: Like the best mother you could ever imagine, God will never forget you.  And you need never walk alone.

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